Saturday, April 26, 2014

talk to me.

things I could talk to you about all day:

-why acting is my passion
-Jesus's faithfulness
-Myers-Briggs personality types, how they define you and why they shouldn't
-where you go to be alone
-my undying love for food, freckles, and Oklahoma
-why songs or books or poems make you feel things
-what you notice first or most about people, physically and not (for me, humor and hands)
-classic literature
-people I love, people you love
-musical theatre shows and actors
-how Jesus is real to you
-places you've been or things you've done that have defined you
-the stars and constellations (particularly my adoration of Orion)
-books that got turned into movies
-love languages
-why theatre is life
-what God created you to do
-the ways in which TeenPact has changed my life
-what you value most about people
-how you feel when traveling alone
-what you love most about your family
-hard things that push me to Jesus
-what you want your life to be about
-the purpose God has for every life I've encountered

pick one and talk to me.

Monday, April 21, 2014

coming home

written the Saturday before Easter, 2014, on my way back home

     It's good to be home.  Is it?  Yes, I believe so.  Coming home is an interesting concept, and familiarity can sometimes be comfortable and sometimes too comfortable.  Life is so much bigger than some people seem to understand.  Jesus is so much bigger than I can understand.
     How do I sum up these past few weeks?  Can I sum up these past few weeks?  God has pushed me and challenged me and taught me and blessed me and showed me and moved me and loved me so much.  As he is wont to do, but being aware of it is the most precious thing I could ask to experience in this world.
     Somehow I feel like my heart has at least tripled in size over the course of these few weeks.  I remember sitting in the van, in the dark, with quiet and thoughtful music playing, surrounded by my favorite people in Oklahoma (thus, ever), sitting happy and still and feeling like my insides could burst.  I remember that contentment like it was yesterday and last year, a feeling that's recent enough to remain with me but distant enough to seem as if I've felt it for a long time.  I remember winks and hugs and words and moments and laughs and friendships and repeating to myself the incredible purpose God has wherever he takes me, and marveling that repeating to myself was not a chore but an overflow of gratefulness, a reality.
     If one can have a heart the size of Texas then I pray God give it to me to further my capacity to love and serve and feel and know and reach.  And yet my capacities, my limitations, don't matter at all, except to point out that not being enough is the best place to be, because then all the better to see that Jesus only and always is enough.
     Love God.  Love others.  Use good judgment.  Such was our mantra and so I hope it will continue to be.  And we confessed our lessons of reliance on God, not ourselves, which is hard and simple and profound and beautiful.
     Coming home, I am not the same person--not just because of new friends or new memories or a new haircut.  And I wouldn't have it another way--I don't ever want to be the same person Monday to Friday, becasue that means stagnancy and I crave growth.  I want that outside of new experiences as well.  I want that coming home.
     It's not over.  It's not over yet.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

A Little Princess

Something that makes me happier than you know has been, during the past couple of months, passing my love of theatre onto my little sisters.  I had the incredible opportunity to direct my first show, a children's production of A Little Princess.  Tess was the lead and Brooke was a supporting character, and I could not be more proud of them.  For myself, it's amazing to see the doors that God opened and closed in order for me to be a part of this show.  The fact that it worked out even with my excessive taking-off-and-being-in-different-states lifestyle of the moment was such a blessing.

An observation: if you think tech week is exhausting as an actor, try being a director.  As an actor you go to long rehearsals and then go home and sleep.  As a director you go to long rehearsals and then go home and work more on things that need to be completed before the show.  Dang, it was a crazy week.

A realization: even just being the assistant director and giving the little turn-off-your-cell-phones talk at the beginning of the show made me really, really miss being onstage.  I absolutely love what I'm doing right now (hello, three weeks in Oklahoma and Texas!), but part of me can't wait to get home and throw myself into another show.

Love my little princesses.